Category: My Writing.

Please find within this category full short stories or parts of longer stories. All comments are welcome. Note: If said comments turn out to be abusive or anything like that, they’ll be deleted.

The joys of my own writing. For now, anyway.

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Hello,

For the past month or so I’ve been working on two things:

    NANoWriMo 2015

    Course work.

 

Both have now been completed. Well, the course has been completed for now. One assignment down and one exam to go (In April). I have enjoyed working on the assignment and I’ve learned a lot along the way but working in front of a computer all day and then coming home to…working in front of a computer is tiring and makes me hate my laptop.

This also made me absent from my blog. A thing that has eaten away at me during all the coursework that left me with a bad back and not wanting to be in front of my laptop. Oh, my laptop, I never thought I would hate the sight of you but the last few days I have. Sorry laptop (you’d think I’d have a name for him by now)

Anyway, all the time away has let me think about what I want to do with my 2016 writing wise. The first thing I thought about was finishing my NaNoWriMo story. But then I remembered that even after 50,000 words, I only around 1/3 through that story. And I need to make a lot of notes to make the story work and bring all the elements together. I worked mostly from memory with some notes but seeing how big the story will be, I might give a timeline or storyboard a try. What do you think?

What method works well when planning a large, and possibly epic, style story?

This story has been growing for years so I want it to work. But then I read the following quote:

Ray-Bradbury-quote

And I got to thinking. I want to enter more competitions in 2016 and to increase my following across my Blog, Twitter and Facebook feeds. These are my two initial goals for 2016. I’m aiming to push myself towards this by writing a short story each week. For as many weeks as I am able. Or can be bothered too if I’m honest. I do have ideas enough to write short stories with so I’m hoping that the first few will spark all the others. I’ll probably end up writing stories about people I see out and about. I’ll have to make sure to not look too creepy if I end up people watching for story ideas.

It’s good to get back into the blog writing groove. I look forward to 2016 and more of the same.

Thank you for your time.

Bye!

An interesting question following some very useful feedback.

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Hello

I recently decided to put my short story ‘Do I have parents at all?’ which is about a 115 year old immortal man living in modern day Manchester trying to find his true calling, onto the writing feedback website www.critquecircle.com. The idea of this wonderful piece of the internet is that you have to critique other authors work to gain credits. These credits can then be used to buy a place for your story to be critiqued on their website. It’s a simple idea that has given me a lot of useful feedback over the years and has allowed me to read some brilliant prose as well. And my latest venture into the critique circle world has carried on this trend.

A reviewer by the name of ‘Fergie’ (Who is Scottish and is a Brilliant name for obvious Manchester United related reasons) decided to read my little tale and provide feedback. Amongst the many things he provided was a closing comment about how he was unsure whether or not he would buy my story if it came to his attention on a book shop shelf.

This got me thinking about how important the first line of a story is but also how important the first page can be. I would read the first page and look at the synopsis before deciding to buy a book so I asked myself, is the first page of my story eye catching enough to persuade someone to read the rest? With this in mind…

What do you think? Here is the first page of my short story and all I want to know is would you buy the rest of my story after reading it? Either way I would really appreciate your feedback. Thank you in advance if you decide to read and comment on it. If not, have a good week in whatever it is you end up doing. Bye!

‘

I have walked the Earth for one hundred and fifteen years but the questions still remain. Where is the First? We should have some kind of connection should we not? Why am I here? Do I have parents at all?

Waking up on the ground of a forest is as much as I can ever remember about my birth. Which is more than anybody else I am sure. That first year is fragmented but there is enough to piece together the story. My story. The story of my birth or my…come now brain, let us do this dance again it may help this time around.

I am born into existence and I grow, develop, and so on until eventually I am found by that rich family and raised for a while until I age too fast and spend the rest of my first year between families. Next comes another year living with various well-meaning poor families who all end up abandoning me but, with reluctant thanks to the rich, I am prepared. By this point, I am the equivalent of a ten year old boy and I find an orphanage and live there for a year through threats and the bending the owner’s superstitious beliefs.

And so, after three actual years upon the Earth and I look fifteen. Each year equals five years until I am thirty, and then I stop growing. I just stop. But why? I travel, I learn, I earn, I frighten, as the anger builds within me and I continue to ask myself why? But remember Henry, take the best parts from life and forget the rest. You promised to stop doing this to yourself! Distraction. It is an overcast Saturday night and I will use it to take my mind off things. Manchester is the best place I know. The streets and buildings are drenched in history. I love how new and at the same time old the whole place looks and feels. The night is starting to get into full swing with people everywhere and I find myself walking inside a bar I do not recall the name of and I do not care to check. I just wish I had a friend I could share this with though I made my peace with that years ago. I will live, I always do.

“Same again?” I forget his name.

“Yes please. Thank you.” I wish these two drunken men would move from the bar. You have your drinks so why are you still here? It is time for the old nudge and move technique. I am glad I committed to the gym all those years ago.

“Hey Handsome, why do you get preferential treatment?” Handsome? Wait…I know that look. She is just after a drink. Women. I have given up trying to work them out. Some say handsome, some say ugly. I do remember one young lady telling me that my light stubble and blue eyes complimented my slightly square jaw and that I must keep my hair short and messy as tall men do not suit long hair. Of all the things I have heard why do I remember what women say about me the most? “Hey, are you okay?”

“Yes. Sorry I got distracted. My girlfriend should be here any moment.” And she is gone. I must stay focused. I cannot fall behind on my schedule. I am sure the First is in Manchester. But how can I be sure? How is it possible that I have not found him, or her, after all of this time?

‘

Writing blindness. Is it a thing?

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For the past few weeks, I’ve been trying to get feedback for my immortal around Manchester (England) story ‘Do I have parents at all’? I have had varying degrees of success with this. But the success I’ve had has been very useful.

This success has come in the form of some very useful pieces of feedback that have opened my eyes to something that, if I wasn’t so biased towards how good I thought my story was to notice it, was staring me in the face; A different ending to my story. Each piece of feedback had the same theme that the ending wasn’t believable or that the reader needed more information to believe it. On each occasion, I pondered if what I was being told was just the reader not reading clearly enough or if the current ending to my story was too far-fetched.

Turns out, it was the latter.

Reading through my story’s end again, which has my hero become one of 21 supreme overlords of the world, made me realise that no amount of explanation could make my ending realistic enough. But thankfully another ending came to mind almost immediately. I have since re-written the ending that suits my lead character a lot more. Turns out he wasn’t cut out for world domination. Not many people are I suppose.

This all got me thinking about all the other story’s I have written and whether their endings are correct. I admit it’s hard not to be blinded by how apparently great the first ending that I have come up is, is that writing blindness?, but I think it’s something I’ll have to get over. I am now a lot happier with the new ending I have come up with and may test it out on people in future. I continued to think that at no point have I questioned any of my endings accept for a time travel story I wrote a few months ago. I’ve mostly just taken them as being what’s best for the story. I have a lot of endings to look back over and possibly change. Though I might just write alternate endings for all of them, regardless of how I feel about the first one, and then take it from there.

With all this in mind, I ask you this, do you write one ending for your story’s or do you have several in mind before or after you’ve written them?

Have a good week. Bye!

And…I didn’t enter the competition after all.

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Hello

So, it’s been a month or so since my last post. It could and probably should not have taken me this long to post again but here we are. After I posted on 06.06.15, I was getting geared up for a holiday to New York! For any of you who have been there I’m sure you can understand why I would be preoccupied. I went away with my two good friends Paul and Leigh for 10 nights and it was amazing. I’ll blog and brag about it another day. But for now…

The competition I was going to enter, http://www.britishfantasysociety.org/the-bfs-short-story-competition-2015/, was to close for entries on 30.06.15. Now, I was well on my way to finishing the edit for my story when the edit decided to get bigger. And then I told my girlfriend about the story and she brought up two points which I thought I had covered but as it turned out I hadn’t covered them well enough.

With all this in mind I decided not to enter the competition after all.

I did not come to this decision lightly. I knew that if I entered a story I wasn’t happy with it would have annoyed me for a daft amount of time. I will instead complete the edit and post the story in two parts on this blog and maybe www.critiquecircle.com for some more feedback. If you would like a summary of the story, please go to the following link https://johnrsermon.com/2015/06/06/finally-one-of-my-plans-is-working/ and seek out the third paragraph of that post and a summary shall be yours!

When I got back from New York! I allowed myself a few days to recover before I started writing again. When I did start again I decided to just work on my newest short story. Now, I considered starting back on the edit but the story had been rolling around in my head every time I tried to go to sleep while I was on holiday in New York! So, when I got back I wanted to try and take a full break from that so I can continue the edit with a fresh(ish) pair of eyes later on. I’ve kept up with the coming home from work and writing deal and the short story is swimming along nicely. Although, I have introduced eight more characters but I’m building the story so all is in hand. Hopefully. I will start back on my edit next week and look to change from edit to writing. Writing to editing. Week after week. And see where it takes me.

Ok. That’s me for now. I hope you all have a good week of writing and whatever else you decide to do.

Bye

Finally, one of my plans is working!

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Hello

Last time out I said that I was going to write and/or edit as soon as I got home from work whilst my work brain was still on so I made sure write and/or something every day. So far it looks to have been a success. On the editing front anyway.

I’m currently in the throes of editing my story for the http://www.britishfantasysociety.org/the-bfs-short-story-competition-2015/, which is due to close for entries on 30.06.15. Now, I had already written my story and have slowly but surely over the last three been editing it into something I am close to being proud of and close to entering into the aforementioned competition. This editing has been done in small doses, maybe two or three pages at a time, but it is working. As for the other story I am writing, I’m going to put that on pause until after this one is all done and dusted and entered.

So, to the story at hand. To sum it up, it centres on an immortal man who has been roaming the earth, learning and earning as he goes, and is now searching for the meaning of his existence. Surely an immortal man cannot just come into being and wander around aimlessly? Well, that is really what he has been doing and his frustration has been given plenty of time to grow. In fact it has grown to the extent that he will break his one, self-imposed law, to try and finally find what he is looking for. But when he does find it, will it turn out to be all he has ever wanted?

Currently I’m a bit in limbo about that question. I could give him everything he wants but should it be that easy? I’m thinking it shouldn’t be so straight and clean. I am close to answering this question though. I might just flip a coin. Both endings I have in mind are as good as each other but I am a little bit biased towards one. But along with that I another little thing I have to get ironed out.

Due to my immortal man having walked the earth for 114 years he has become polite and well spoken. This means I have decided that he cannot use I’m when he should use I am. And all of the other contractions that people use in everyday life. Do you know how frustrating it is to think that you’ve gotten rid of all the I’m’s only to find there are about five more you’ve missed when you edit it again? And every edit seems to bring up more! Easy now. Calm yourself.

Well, I have successfully wound myself up. I’m going to get…I am going to get back to the edit.

Goodbye

The story gets bigger and (hopefully) better.

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Hello

So, last time I said I had started a story and that I would probably need only another 8-10 pages to finish it.

That was a lie.

And…well that was the only lie from my last post.

My story, which involves time travel and the impact it has on those who are lucky or unlucky enough to partake in it, is picking up speed but is taking longer than I thought it would. It is for a good reason though.

I realised that I had a lot to explain and that I just wanted to get the story written and not worry about it being a short, novella or long story. In my head I thought 15 pages would be enough but I sit here now with fifteen pages of it done and no time travel having happened. How could such a thing happen? You might ask.

I don’t know, is the answer.

I have made sure to describe everything well enough and to move the story along at a natural pace that I’m comfortable with and 15 pages isn’t enough. At this rate I’m sure it’ll be double that by the time it’s finished. And it doesn’t help that each time I think the next paragraph is going to have my hero travelling through time, which will change the pace of the story and everything from there will move along a lot faster, I discover I need to explain something else. Or set something up. Or describe something important. Each time this has happened with this and every other story I’ve ever written, I’ve been annoyed.

But then I move on.

To what? You may ponder. Well, to bigger and better things regarding my story hopefully. Each time I thought of something else I needed to cover I immediately knew that it needed to be done for the story to work. All the seemingly endless parts of the story must link together to make the whole thing run just like a song right?

And so it is that I’m now on the cusp of making my hero travel through time. What will happen to him? How will it change him? What will happen?!

No idea. But I’ll tell you when I know.

Thanks for reading and I’ll see you next week.

Bye.

Getting back into the swing of things and feeling giddy about it.

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Hello

As I mentioned last time out I’ve started to write my own time travel story. Once I’d gotten my head around my own concept, which was sending me loopy as I started to get into the story I have to admit (see https://johnrsermon.com/2015/01/29/oh-life-its-bigger/ for more details) it has been full steam ahead.

I’ve given myself the task of writing at least 500 words whenever I sit down to write and so far the story is moving along nicely. I’m hoping to get it all finished within the next week or so and then start editing it. I’ve introduced my two main characters and started my main character, Arthur, on the road to having his own ‘Future Chance’. Albeit against his wishes and he would’ve avoided any chance of taking such a…chance if his friend and would be/possibly/I’ve not decided yet love interest Victoria had not drunken entered him into a competition to win one. He is reluctant, given that it could end up in his death, but he’s starting to figure a plan to change all of that.

Pow! And that’s how far I am. I reckon it’ll only be another 8 – 10 pages before I’m finished and I have to say it has made me slightly giddy about the whole thing. Why only yesterday, when I’d done some exercise and eaten my t, did I feel a long dormant (a few months) giddiness about writing. I was about to write, get the 1st draft well on its way to being finished, and feel even better about myself than I usually do. And with that in mind…

I’m off to do some more writing.

Bye Bye

P.S Here’s a picture. Just because I felt like it.

IMG_10088872137343

Feedback request – An excerpt from my latest finished story.

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Hello

 

As mentioned in my last post yesterday, here is the first half of the first chapter of my demon vs hunters (searchers) tale the Searcher’s Want.  I would appreciate some feedback on it and as always if you choose to please keep it constructive. Thank You.

 

‘

No one in the bar tonight is paying much attention to the demon except for the barman who is making good tips off him, a few women hanging off his every well-groomed and disguised word, and the searcher Aaron Watch looking to kill him without causing alarms to ring in the process.

The Catcher demon has a talent for blending in, which has been perfected over the past four hundred years or so, and hiding in plain sight using their superior disguising and survival techniques that put humans off their scent and to attempt to, which has failed so far, to repel the searchers. The makeup and strategic use of clothes covered their true, green, scaly form and to cover their talons. The Catcher was dressed well but not so much as to stick out of the crowd.

“Can I buy you a drink?” A woman said, sitting next to the demon at the bar. The Mox bar is very busy for a Tuesday night and a place well known to be an easy pick up spot for anyone looking for something that didn’t mean anything.

“I would say you can. Whiskey, please. On the rocks.” The Catcher replied, in a perfected mancunian accent. Catcher’s had become very good at sounding charming, sophisticated, and most importantly, human. Aaron sipped his water as he watched intently.

“Coming right up. Oh barman, two whiskeys please.” She said, adjusting her top ever so slightly. Aaron watched the his eyes flash yellow for an instant before returning to the human blue it had adopted. Aaron knew from looking at her that she is prime meat for this monster. She’s tall, pretty, and has a curvy figure, which is all just about held in by a tight, ill-fitting dress. She was the type of woman that frequented this bar every night of the week. The type that had a look in their eye that said they were destined for something greater but had gotten very lost along the way.

“You shouldn’t stare, you know.” a woman said, leaning against the bar and blocking Aaron’s view. The bar curved round so he could sit at the end of it and watch discreetly. He had always been good at spotting women who fancied the look of him and moving away from them whilst fulfilling a search and kill order. He was not a great looking man but he was nice enough and a lot of women thought so too. Every so often he would take advantage of this but not tonight.

“You shouldn’t talk to strangers.” he replied, before taking a big gulp of water so he could see what the demon was up to.

“I could change that for you if you like?” she said, leaning in a little more. Aaron hadn’t taken a proper look at her yet as he was trying to keep as much of his eyes as possible on his target. The woman was still flirting with the Catcher and they had just started to drink their newly acquired whiskeys.

“And how could you do that?” Aaron said, giving her as much attention as he could spare. She is very elegant, he thought, and she has nice, almost clear, light brown skin and high cheek bones. She was has a toned physique which only just fitted into her dress but she is in proportion, unlike the catcher’s whiskey drinking prey. These kinds of women could either be prostitutes or actual women. It was difficult to tell in a place like The Mox Bar.

“By flirting with you a little bit and getting to know you.” She is an actual woman. She has bright, searching eyes and seemed to be putting on a false longing just for him. He’d taught himself, through many confrontations with demons and deceiving humans, to spot falseness in an expression and body language.

“You’re a cheeky one, aren’t you?” He said with a smile. Aaron had a slightly chiselled jaw and nice hazel eyes and teeth. His brown hair touched his ears in a by design scruffy way and she took her time eyeing this and the rest of him up, which he liked. If she kept smiling, he was in. If she became serious, she would be polite until she got her drink and then she would make an excuse to leave.

“Do you like that?” she purred, leaning in a little bit more. Aaron suddenly realised where he’d seen this before. He glanced over at his target, still entertaining his ample and potential meal, and glanced back at his. She followed his eyes across the bar.

“That’s Sarah. She had her eye on you as soon you walked in. We’ve both been without men for a while so we figured we’d help each other out. I however, when asked to chat you up for her, decided I wanted you instead. She then spotted the hunch back at the bar and went straight over. He’s cute, but you’re sexy.” Her eyes changed as she finished talking. In truth, he wasn’t really listening. He was making sure his demon was occupied and quickly surmised that he couldn’t kill him until he did something. If the catcher walked out with Sarah he’d have to follow. This would mean that he had to walk out with his woman and when all four of them met for the first time, the demon would run having immediately identified that he was a searcher. Searchers can identify demons from a long distance whereas demons can only identify searchers from a short one. It’s something Aaron wanted to avoid.

“You keep looking over there. What can I do to keep you looking over here?” She said, brushing her hands against her chest nonchalantly. Aaron was interested and to find a woman who looked like she did and wasn’t a prostitute didn’t happen every day.

“Could I have your number?” he said, hoping to get the number and leave. He would wait outside for the demon and complete the order there.

“You can, but under one condition. You kiss me in such a way that would make me want to give it to you.”

“Kiss you in such a way? You don’t usually come here, do you? Or dress…in such a way.” She immediately got the sarcasm, which he was secretly thankful for. At this, her face changed and she noticeably calmed down. He glanced over and he could see that the demon was starting to charm Sarah now.

“No I don’t. I’m a secretary at a law firm in town. I usually wear suits or just casual jeans and such. I only came here because Sarah wanted to and she’s in the mood for sex.”

“That’s fair enough but you don’t have to dress like that. You could come in wearing your pyjamas and still be the prettiest woman in the room.” A more natural looking smile crossed her face and she leaned back taking something out of her handbag from over her shoulder.

“Here. It’s my business card. Call me and we’ll have a proper date.”

“Yes we will.” He’d been told enough times that he’s a ‘smooth operator’ but never really understood it. She stood up and straightened her long brown hair before moving some behind her ear. She walked off towards Sarah and the demon. Aaron looked at the card. ‘Isabella Woodley – Williams Kim & Associates Barristers and Solicitors.’ “Isabella.” He put the card in his pocket and looked back at the demon. Isabella walked over and put a hand gently on Sarah’s shoulder and whispered in her ear. Sarah nodded and as Isabella turned to walk away she stopped dead and looked at the demons neck. Aaron knew what it was immediately. Some of its make-up had smudged to reveal the green scaly skin underneath.

“What is that?” Isabella said, looking frightened. She looked over at Aaron and frowned. Did she know this was why he was there? Instinctively, Aaron got up and started to walk over to them. The demon turned and spotted him, downed his drink, and quickly walked out of the bar ahead of him. As Aaron passed, trying to look casual before a full on pursuit began, Isabella continued to frown as she watched him leave.

‘