Tag: www.johnrsermon.com

One book down. But which one should be next?

Hello

My continued attempts to edit two stories side by side have not been as fruitful as I thought they would be. I have been continuing to edit them but I didn’t do it for every day of last week. Which, in my head, was the plan. But I have managed to write more pages of The End Solution. It’s moving long quite nicely but I’m still no closer to finding out what the ending is going to be. I am starting to think I may have to write all of my possible endings out on paper and decide which works best. I’ve also found that I will have to go back and add in a few chapters to cover some story points I have neglected. Do I do this now or in the editing stage? I think I’ll do it now. Or maybe not. I’ll come to this decision after some careful thought. Or whilst I’m on the toilet. Or playing Pro Evolution Soccer. Or staring at the wall. Whichever way this comes to me though, I hope it is soon.

Any who, on a different subject, I finished Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde (http://www.play.com/Books/Books/6-/Search.html?searchstring=dr+jekyll&searchsource=2&searchfilters=s%7bdr+jekyll%7d%2bc%7b91%7d%2b) and it has become one of my favourite books of all time. The way Robert Louis Stevenson has weaved this story is unlike anything I’ve ever read. Maybe that’s my fault (there’s no maybe about it) but it’s a bold and striking style that captivates and keeps you hooked. Admittedly it can be a bit like hard work, some of the words he uses I’ve never heard of and the way I pronounce them in my head is most likely way off and the meanings will be as well, but if you are looking for a short, sharp and engaging read, I’d go for this one.

This finishing of the book malarkey has left me with a problem….what book do I read next?

At the end of my copy of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde there is another of his tales entitled The Bottle Imp. I only found out this was in with my copy halfway through reading it when I glanced at the back of the book cover. It is an apparently sinister story which will give me time to decide which of these books I’ll read next.

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If any of you fine people have read any of the above, feel free to give me your honest opinion about which ever it may be. Or some if not all of them.

Cheers

And so to the edit. Not forgetting the writing of course.

 

Hello

I’ve started to edit the first chapters of two of my novels simultaneously. I’m liking how, as both stories are quite different, I’m not getting confused. Sometimes I think I’m going to focus more on one than the other or get parts of one story mixed up with another one.

The Searcher’s Want, which I started for NaNoWriMo 2012 and finished recently, starts off in the same fashion as The End Solution, my ongoing NaNoWriMo 2013 effort. I’ve found over these two and over my other stories short and long, finished and unfinished that I’ve written, start by putting the reader in the middle of the action. I have always preferred this when reading any story so it doesn’t surprise me that I have started my own stories this way. But I am pleasantly surprised I’m being consistent with my writing. Had to happen some time.

Both stories so far have started with the main character doing what he is chiefly known for. With the End Solution, the main character is about to and does remove the chemical from a potential threat to society. In The Searcher’s Want, he is searching for a demon and killing it. For me, putting the reader straight into the action is the best way to start. I like to be slowly fed the story. I also love reading a fast paced action scene. Writing them is a joy as well. All my long stories have many of these scenes in them but not too many. Well, so far anyway. I’ll probably remove some and add others when the edit gets into full swing. 

I’m going to post a draft of the first page or two of The Searchers Want on this blog and most if not all of the first chapter of The End Solution on http://www.critiquecircle.com/ sometime soon. Your comments and constructive feedback will be appreciated.

Along with this, so that I don’t get too settled into a routine, I’m continuing to write The End Solution. I wanted to write a page a day throughout January but a combination of laziness and doing other stuff meant I managed ten pages. Which isn’t too bad considering I’m editing as well. And so from this I ask….

Did you manage to get a lot of writing done in your January?

Good pie.

One chapter too long. But that is what edits are for right?

Hello

I’ve continued to write the End Solution and to my huge grin, which turned to slight annoyance straight after, I realised that the chapter I had just finished was twice the size of all the other chapters in the story so far. I would potentially do this for the ending of a story but not just passed half way. I’ll have to get to stream lining that ten page monster (compared to all the other five page normal sized creatures) in the edit. Or maybe I should do it now. I’m not sure. What do you think?

That cold I mentioned last time still hasn’t completely gone away. And it will go away because I can’t be ill for what’s coming this Friday. I’m sure you are all aware and are either applauding me or frowning as if to pretend you don’t know, it’s TNA Impact Wrestling from the Manchester Arena. Me and my friend try and go every year and it has never disappointed. It will also be the day I break my self-imposed, no beer plan and get back on it. I just hope I don’t get so ratted I miss the event. I’m sure I won’t. Hopefully.

I’ve started to renew my relationship with one of the websites I used to frequent. Critique Circle has always been a valuable way for me to get good, solid feedback and to read other writer’s Fantasy and Sci-Fi stories. If you are not aware, the idea of the site is as follows:

  1. You read other peoples stories from any genre you like and critique them once you are done.
  2. The more in depth your critique is, the more credits you will receive.
  3. Once you have 3 credits, you can submit a story of your own.
  4. Other authors will then critique your story and your feedback has arrived!

I’ve read one fantasy story and now have enough credits to submit my own work. I’ll let you know how that goes in due course.

Right then. I’m off to read and write.

Bye Bye

Editing, Writing, A Cold, Oh My!

 

Hello

Following on from my last post, I edited the first few pages of the first chapter of my vision-of-the-future story, The End Solution.

One of the pieces of helpful feedback I received from my last post was to try to picture the street that the start of the chapter takes place on. I walk up and down said street every day and have done so for the past ten months, so this should have been a no brainer and something I should’ve considered. Captain Hindsight, I know your pain. Anyway, I pictured it and made some changes and immediately thought it read a lot better. I’m a little bit biased (Surprised?) but it was easier and smoother to read compared to what was there before it. I closed my eyes to picture the street and it didn’t take long for me to write enough of a description to hopefully set the scene and put the reader in the story alongside the characters. Or floating above them or walking just behind them at least.

I also changed what I thought was needed to put the story out of the passive and into the active voice. Again the story was smoother to read and was a lot more gripping. Actually putting the reader into the action instead of telling them about it like it happened a few minutes ago. As in, if you had changed from your work shoes to your boots to go home before the end of work instead of at the end of it, you would have seen it. Anyway, all in all I’m happy with the progress I’ve made so I may post the edited version on here at some point.

I continued to write the rest of The End Solution after doing this and I reckon I’m about five to ten chapters from the end of it. Although, I don’t know which of three possible, up to now, endings I’m going to use. But, like with all the other long stories I’ve written, the ending will come to me all of a sudden and I won’t be able to stop writing. I do enjoy that part.

Right then, thank you for reading and I’m going to get back to it. Oh, and the cold part of the title refers to a cold I picked up, after a small bout of food poisoning, that slightly ruined my week. It’s gone now though. I’m beginning to think giving up beer for thirty days was a bad idea. My body seems to be telling me so.

Good Pie

A small slice of my NaNoWriMo 2013 novel. Constructive feedback is most welcome.

Hello

Today I’m going to share with you the first page of my 2/3 of the way finished novel for NaNoWriMo 2013, The End Solution. If you’d be so kind, could you read it and give me some constructive feedback. But before all of that, here’s a bit of a plot summary…

The government found out about the chemical, which flows through just about everyone and controls whether or not they commit a crime depending on how much of it is in their system, and how to extract it. A person who has had the chemical extracted will never commit another crime. This has led to them cleaning up the UK and making it virtually crime free. But, they rule with an iron fist and ‘remove’ anyone who talks about them in a negative way. After one of their experiments escapes and bites quiet and reserved office worker Bruce Avenly on the neck, they have achieved their ultimate dream. They have created a walking deterrent against crime. Bruce can extract the chemical when he wants by sucking it out of someone then and there. Bruce finds that everything about him ten times better and his confidence is through the roof. He is declared an outlaw after they first claim to want his help, then want him dead. Can Bruce find out the answers he needs before the chemical thirst takes over? Can he help free a scared UK out of a dictatorship? Or will he use his new found gifts to terrorize those he loves and everyone else?

Like the title says, your constructive feedback is welcome and if you have any questions, just ask. It has only been through a few edits but I’m looking for some initially reaction to it before I continue my edit. Cheers

The End Solution by John Robert Sermon.

Most of the time he struggled to smell anything else but the chemical. Bruce Avenly has been walking around like this for the last four months and the only time he didn’t smell the chemical was when he passed out due to sleep deprivation.

His face had been plastered all over the government reports and country wide newspapers. There was page after page of glorious lies that they, from the looks of things, had spent a lot of time and money on to turn the country against him. I’m now some kind of monster to be feared? He thought. He stopped walking and moved to the inside of the pavement.

“The chemical is ripe in someone close by.” He said to himself. He lent against the wall of a pub he always used to walk past on his way home. He had never been in there or ever wanted to. But he did find himself missing the routine of walking past it ten times a week to and from work. It certainly beat being an outlaw, he reasoned. He shook off his latest sentimental moment and glanced around for who it might be. He remembered that the last one took a lot of effort and blood loss to completely extract the chemical from. Even then he wasn’t sure it would cure them completely as he never waited around long enough to find out.

“There you are.” He said not caring who could hear him. He looked across the road over four lanes of traffic, the farthest smelling yet he briefly contemplated, at a scrawny looking woman with thin, ravaged, dirty blond hair. She looked drawn and very frail. He took a deep breath and smelt the chemical that was coursing through her veins. It smelt like it always did. A rich tangy metallic smell with a hint of sweat and salt. He both loved and hated the it in equal measure. He casually walked to the nearest crossing and made his way over to her side of the road.

“I’ll get the money tonight mate. Don’t worry.” She said loudly down her phone. Bruce kept a good distance behind her and even if he had stayed on the other side of the road he could’ve clearly smelt her. The scent is always strongest in people who will or who have committed serious crimes. He was confident he could over power her as he always is in the prelude to extracting the chemical. It was the screaming and blood he had to worry about. She pocketed the phone and turned down an alleyway. One of many things Bruce loved about Manchester was how in most cases one alleyway led into another which will eventually lead you back to its centre or back to where you started. He had tried to explain this to a lot of people but they could only slightly understand what he was saying. He remembered mumbling a lot before he became what he is today. He did prefer some things about being human than being a chemical vampire but he hated a lot of things as well. His lack of confidence to say what he wanted to say or do what he wanted to do was something he did not miss at all.

He looked around to see where she was. He spotted her in the distance standing on a street corner. She was stepping from side to side and waiting for something. He knew what she was waiting for. She moved like every other prostitute he’d ever seen. But the chemical was so rich within her that she was more of a danger to her client’s life than the average prostitute was. A silver BMW drove passed and then slowly turned around. Bruce quickly walked up to the car as it pulled up next to her.

Taking a break. Well, only a little.

Hello again

After the awesomeness that was nanowrimo, I’m going to do what I did last year and take a break from writing any stories. I found that doing this and coming back to writing my stories after a month off, really revitalised me. I got straight back into it so I’m thinking, why break a successful formula?

Because it could be better, that is why.

In my month off, I’m planning on getting back into writing on this here blog and to reading more stories on the websites I’ve neglected over the past few months. I think it will be a good change of pace and although I do and always will like to write, I think my back and my mind will benefit from it. Because….

My mind can rest and take in others work and help to get it back into sharp and creative condition heading into 2014.
My back will love it as I tend to hunch over my laptop as I write and cause it to hurt.

Anyway, I’m going to get started on my grand plan but before I go for now, just one more thing,
image

This was my set up for when I completed nanowrimo. And I ask of it applies to you…how did you prepare for and get on with your nanowrimo?

Bye bye

The reason I’ve been so quiet (if you noticed that is)

Hello

Just a quick one, I’ve completed NaNoWriMo for the second year in a row! I’m really happy and have ordered a t-shirt to celebrate. Its a bit geeky but it also contributes to this brilliant challenge and helps to keep it running.

So, here is a synopsis of the story I have possibly given myself a back problem partly writing;

My novel, which isn’t finished yet but is well on its way like last years, is about a government that rules with an iron fist. They will let you live your lives but if you get caught talking or doing anything against them, and they are listening all the time, you will be killed or ‘removed’. This government has made the UK a very rich UK. It has also, since the now Prime Minister took over, discovered that a chemical runs through most human beings bodies that, if it’s in a high quantity, will cause that person to commit a crime. The higher the chemical level, the worse the crime. This can be removed however and the remove-ee (not a word) can re enter society and never commit a crime.

In order to make sure all those that should, in the governments eyes anyway, have the chemical removed do have it removed, they want to create an End Solution. Someone who can smell the chemical and suck it out of someone on the spot like a vampire. The End Solution ends up, after years of experimentation, being created but by accident. Now, the End Solution, a once normal, middle of the road man, is now a super charged, walking deterant to crime. Will he help the government or will he go out on his own? Will his friends find him before its too late? Will the Prime Minister get what he wants? Will the Government be brought o its knee’s? will he go for pizza?

Who knows? I only roughly know myself. If you would be interested in reading a snippet of this, let me know. If not, I’ll post a snippet at some point so you’ll see it anyway.

And now, this…

2013-Winner-Vertical-Banner

 

Cheers

My nano progress. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

Hello

My progress so far is pretty good with this years nanowrimo challenge. I’m a little behind on my word count (which is 18,000 I think so far) but I have some time off work so I’m going to catch up. I’d be fine if I didn’t have a daft amount of good things going on so far this month.

My flat mate managed to apply successfully for tickets for five of us to go to the Manchester United vs Arsenal game on sunday (which we, United, won) and then this meant we had to go out and celebrate. That’s sunday without writing but I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

Then I went to visit my sister, brother in law and nephew in the Sheffield on monday and Tuesday. It was a brilliant two days and I’m so glad I got to know my nephew a lot better. But alas, no writing. But alas, I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

These are excuses I’ll grant you that but all it means is my focus is a lot stronger on catching up on my word count.

Well, that’s my nanowrimo progress so far. Hopefully those of you taking part are doing well and enjoying it. I know I am.

Good pie

As with last year, nanowrimo for the win.

Hello

So nanowrimo is in full swing. And I’m getting back into it easily enough. I was worried I’d struggle but its getting easier as I find my routine.

I’m also enjoying how my story is moving along. As with last year, worry crept into my head as I wondered how to move my story along.

But as I wrote, as with last year, I found myself crafting a story I’ll be proud of.

I’m also enjoying coming up with new characters as I write. I’ve managed to work in a bounty hunter somehow.

For all those who are taking part in nanowrimo, I hope you’re having a good time and continue to throughout the month.

Bye bye

Oh Dear. There’s blank spaces at the end of my calender.

Hello

After a week of barely reading I managed to make up for it by finishing 1984!

All in all it was a brilliant read. Initially I thought it might be a struggle as its not lay out in chapters as such but in three different parts each with several different sections broken up with a roman numeral. These would come in the middle of the page so, as is my way of reading, I would have to read until the end of a sentence at the start of a page. I don’t like to stop half way through a page but sometimes, only due to the tram getting to my stop, would I be forced to do so. But anyway…

Once I started I realised that it wasn’t going to be a problem. It is not too easy to read but not to difficult either. The balance is spot on and everything from the descriptions, dialogue and how the story pans out is well paced and planned out. I may read it again. I was also struck by relevant reading this book was to my NaNoWriMo challenge attempt.

The story I’m going to write is about a non to distant future which has a government ruling over it with an iron fist. It’s not as brutal and astonishing as Big Brother, nor is it the main focus of story, but it does play a big part in how the story will progress. The main character in my story was a creation of the government. The government in my story does allow the people its runs to live relatively normal lives. They only intervene when they think anything close to them, mainly their policies and ‘weekly and monthly reports’, are questioned. Which will turn out to be a fair amount as the story goes on and their creation starts to find out more about them. I’ll stop there as I’m in danger of giving to much of it away.

Ok. So, I checked my calendar yesterday I there were two blanks squares at the end of it. Which belong to the next month. Which is November. Which is NaNoWriMo. Oh dear.

I’m not that scared really. But, I know I’ve got something planned on Friday and Saturday but I make sure I start NaNoWriMo off well and keep it going. And I hope everyone else who is taking part who has given this little blog of mine a glance, does the same.

Laters