The Story I’m Editing now ‘The Town of the Mountain’


These are the first 729 (exactly) words of the first chapter of a story I started after starting another story that got bigger and bigger due to the amount of ideas I was having. I wanted to write a short story or novella just so I had a full one I could add to and mess around with. Forgive any grammatical errors but please tell me about them. If that makes sense.

Your comments are welcome.

The roar made him spin round in anticipation. It was as sickening as he was used to, but like most that have come before, the bugbear responsible didn’t appear.

There’s not much you can say about him, but the one thing most say is that he’s aware. He won’t let much get past him. He is Markus ‘Trident’ Groningen. The things he’s done whilst being so aware were and are to this day greatly appreciated by the townsfolk. This small town is located at the foot of a huge mountain that reaches beyond the clouds and the top of which has never been seen.

‘Trident’, which was the town’s and his fellow hunters nickname for him, was so called because he hunts with a wooden handled Trident with three extremely lethal prongs at its end. The considerable weight this creates doesn’t stop him from handling it with same ease as the wind would handle a stray leaf. He is six foot two inches tall and there isn’t an ounce of fat to be found on him. He along with each of the other hunters has a weapon of choice to the bugbears that ranged from gigantic in size to at their smallest man sized. None of the hunters was recognised officially as the leader but ‘Trident’ was treated as such within the five.

The hunters had only a few things in common, these included wearing the same smart shirts and cotton twill pants along with any footwear of their choosing. Eriden Grainger, who has the distinction of being the only woman hunter to date, stood at five foot eleven inch with a considerable amount of muscle herself. Though this muscle had been toned over the years so she kept her womanly figure and never strayed into the ‘manly woman’ category. I’m sure you know one of these and there not the best to look at.  She carried two pistols which matched that of any gunslinger to have ever graced the Wild West. Although I doubt many of them wore a corset. They all covered up with the standard long dark brown coat which was closer to black but patches of the coats still remained there natural color. The shirt, pants and long coat combination was standard for a hunter and it always allowed them to keep their weapons concealed from the bugbears. The bugbears knew the hunters by their clothes more so than there facial features and in some instances a bugbear has been lured by a coat being put around something that resembled a hunter from the back and lured into a trap by the coats owner.

As we join ‘Trident’ we find him doing his daily rounds. Each hunter is required to walk the distance of the forest in search of bugbears each day alternately. Bugbears came out at night which was when all the hunters were scheduled to patrol the forest in shifts. Two would go on patrol for the night and then the next night another two would patrol. The remaining hunter would hunt with the Sheriff of the town the next night then they would switch partners the next night and so on.

‘Come back in Trident. Seven times is enough for any man.  Even one as tireless as yourself.’ Stuart shouted from the edge of the forest. Stuart Pinder-Marsh carried a fencing sword at one side of his six foot muscular frame and the other side was accompanied by a great sword who’s blade stretched four and half feet and was three inches wide. It was the sharpest sword in the town and has been called a contender for sharpest in the country by some travelling blacksmiths and sword experts. His muscles are his pride and have enabled him to handle his great sword with ease just like Markus can handle his Trident. He now held the less taxing two jugs of water for him and for the now tried Markus. Marcus had reached the edge of the forest but was looking back one final time. After a few more minutes of cautious glances towards the darker parts of the forest, he turned and walked towards him. Stuart in turn held up the full jug of water which was swiped from his hand quickly.

‘Polite as usual.’ Stuart muttered.

‘I heard that.’ Replied Markus as he took a large gulp of his jug.


One of my favourite reasons

Hello again

I’ve been keeping on with my story and have unearthed another thing which changes the landscape of it. This happens every so often and it reminds me whenever it does why I love to write.

The way I write has a certain amount of structure to it but I leave it open to change. By that I mean that I have an order that my story will go in roughly planned out either in my head or on paper. The current story I’m working on has a full layout on paper. Although I’ve only stuck to some of it. As I write I will always end up creating more things to add to the characters and landscape of the story along with any other part of it. It just depends when inspiration strikes I suppose. I could be writing for ages and nothing but then in one sitting come up with three idea. When doing this I will always keep to my core plot though. They’ll never change the way the story goes but they will add greatly to it and I like having to adapt to these things as I go along. Writing is creating for me so getting half way through a chapter and coming up with something I’d never thought of before about the character I’m writing about is awesome. The only drawback is I have to remember to go back through the story and add this little addition wherever it’s required.

So, for example, if I’ve found myself half way through a story and decided that for the particular part I’m writing my character needs a new skill, I’ll have to go back and potentially mention or allude to this skill earlier on in the story. This will help to set up what I’ve just written so it doesn’t just come out of the blue. It does get slightly annoying when I come up with a great idea near the end of a story (as I have currently) which now means I’ll have to go back and add back story for this particular change. It is a big idea and one that I’m proud of but one that will require potentially a whole chapters worth of words spread over the whole story. But I do love it so I’ll keep at it. Don’t you worry.

And last but certainly not least, I’m going to post a blog entry which will be the first half of the first chapter of my story that I’m currently editing called ‘The Town of the Mountain’. Your thoughts are most welcome.

Bye bye


Getting to the end. I can’t wait. Well, actually I could wait a little longer.


Following on from getting myself out of the hole I was in with the last chapter of the story I’m working on, I’m now rolling along nicely. I’ve set myself a 1000 word target each time I sit down to write and its working wonders. I did this before but stopped due to a sudden bout of uncontrollable laziness and then started again because of the following article about how to write 4000 words in a day.

Now, I tried to do 4000 words after reading this article and managed 2400 words(ish) but that was only because of my Xbox forcing me to continue my successful football career on pro-evo 2012 (I’m captain of Inter Milan don’t you know) and the weather being nice for once so the need for a walk took over. It’s a pretty simple method Jeremy Robinson uses and it’s given him a grand total 17 published books last year alone. He talks about working a 9-5 shift with breaks and a dinner to get the 4000 words a day done. Although I found it informative I think I’ll stick with 1000 words each time for now and work my way up. I’d read it if you ever wanted to write a great deal and struggled to find the right method. It’s good stuff.

So, after reading this article it’s allowed me to push on with my story and I’ve gotten to a part where I’m writing an action sequence. A sequence which leads onto the beginning of the end of the story (which I already have written out in my head and notebook) our hero and his true love are racing to stop the big bad…baddy and are stopped themselves by a soon to be former friend who wants them dead. I’ve started it and because the story is from the first person perspective of the hero I need some ideas of how to put the fight across as well as possible. I have a few myself but what do you think? How should I get it across? Your thoughts are always welcome.

Well that’s my writing exploits for the past few weeks. Till next time

New discoveries and stuff.


Well like I said the last time this one will be longer. Maybe only by a bit but still…

I’ve finally managed to get out of the hole I’ve been in whilst writing the latest chapter of my latest story. It’s about a man who is the apprentice to the leader of his city. He will eventually take over from him as is the way of the leaders of the past and the law of the city itself. The leader has some secrets and has done some horrible things in his time. Can the apprentice uncover all the leaders’ wrong doings before he leaves him a city in ruins? And who is the leader’s mysterious daughter Meredith?

That’s a short version of the synopsis as I’m very happy to have come up with such a story and if you like I can tell you more. Anyway I’ve was stuck in ‘explain as much back story as possible’ mode to set up the dramatic and already written in my head ending for months. I kept thinking of new things I needed to explain or add in that my mind began wonder if I’d ever get out of the bloody chapter I was in. It had the potential to be a twenty page monster but I’ve gotten myself out with all relevant information given.

Well hopefully I have though I need to spread the back story out over the rest of the book but I’ll do that in editing. Ah editing, I thought I’d never get there with this story. I’ve made it so full of stuff that I almost forgot to explain the why’s and where’s and who’s of it all. I both like it and hate it the process.

Also, which is better do you think, short and sweet descriptions or long and sour ones? (Sweet? Sour? Whatever) I’m tending to use both but I might change it in the glorious land of editing. Your thoughts are welcome.

I came up with the wonderful (and long overdue) idea to follow other writer’s blogs so I can gain more ideas and help. I’ve found two so far that I recommend. The first is from the author Joanna Penn. Its focuses on the whole process of the writing and editing of your book to getting it published and the marketing side of things. She is very passionate about giving as much information as possible to aspiring writers and gives a lot of hints and tips. She gives you a free download, author 2.0, which gives a lot of advice on how to use web 2.0 technologies to get your work published.

The second is which is by author Jeff Goins which looks at his love of writing and how to stay creative. He answers questions like how do successful writers make a living? Why do writers write? And many more which all give detailed help for aspiring authors. He also gives you a free download called ‘The Writers Manifesto’ which is by far the best summing up of why writers write I’ve ever read. I’d have a look if you can.

Right that’s it for now, till next time.


short but sweet. Next time won’t be.

Hello again

I’ve been away for the past week and haven’t done much writing so this entry will be short but the next one will be back to normal.

The writing I did manage to do was editing my short story for the competition mentioned in my last entry. I’ve added the finished product to protagonize at the following link Since when did you care? and would like your views on it please. I’m happy and still proud of what I’ve written and may take the idea further. I had another idea about a toy dreaming he was human, thinking it was real, but then realising it wasn’t but that is for another time. I came up with that on a beach in Barcelona. Thinking about it again I’m not sure I like it.

On a beach in Barcelona a? is what you just thought or thereabouts. Maybe. I spent 12th-19th June in Barcelona and it was awesome. I’d recommend it to anyone looking for a quality getaway who would also like to discover new things. I’m not going to go into anymore detail as that’s not what this blog is about but give me a shout if you’d like more info and I will. Cos I’m good like that.

As always any comments on any of my work or any suggestions are most welcome.


Constant Awesomeness.

Following on from coming up with a twist in town of the mountain I’m now worried I’ll start rethinking the whole thing. I’m resisting the temptation to give all the characters a twist and will endeavour to stick to the main story arc/lines/stuff.

I’ve started to put in small things which will (hopefully) get the reader guessing as to who the sword supplier is as the twist is related to this. What do you mean sword supplier? I hear your brain cry. Well dear reader, allow me to elaborate a bit. The bugbears of my story do have the capacity to learn and to be taught. This leads to someone teaching them to fight back using swords. Though they are seemingly inept with the sword it does pose a serious threat to the town and its hunters. They come to the inevitable conclusion that someone or something is training them to fight and supplying with their weapons (swords, sword supplier, get it?) Can the bugbears take over the town again as they did so many years ago? And can the hunters stop an unknown number of bugbears all of whom could be armed from destroying their town? What I’ve just written is one of the many reasons why I love to write. It gets my mind racing and all sorts of ideas come to me when I’m writing and when I’m not. Its constant awesomeness.

I’ve managed to choose an idea for my ‘And then I woke up to find it all a dream’ starting line short story. It all centres on a man committing suicide and the consequences. I’m happy to say I’m proud of what I’ve written and whether it wins or not I’ll post it on for you to read.

I’ve posted a new story on protagonize as well. The Unknown Child is the working title and centres around a child, well he’s a teenager but you only become a man when you’ve qualified in your chosen area which in this case is becoming a knight of the land, and how he struggles to find his lost memories. I’d like your opinion if you would The Unknown Child.

All comments welcome about anything I’ve said above or ever. Cheers

From a nightmare to a dream

Hello again

I’m continuing to edit Town of the Mountain (the first chapter of which can be seen here) and I’ve managed to come up with more ideas and a twist. I’m annoyed I didn’t come up with said twist and ideas earlier asthey all seem to fit in and work a smeggin treat and it gives the story more for the reader to think about(I hope). I’ve got all the faith in the world in my story but I’d been hoping for a spark of inspiration at some point. Thankfully it arrived before I went mental waiting for it to arrive. That whole wait had been a bit of a nightmare.

Now for the dream part of the title to this entry. I subscribe to the seminal magazine ‘Writing Magazine’ which gives out valuable hints, tips, information, advice and anything else an aspiring writer could want or need. It also has competitions in it each month. These competitions are usually poetry and short story ones with this month’s short story competition being a chuffin dream. The word limit is 1500-1700 and the story can be about anything you like but it must start with ‘And then I woke up to find it was all a dream…’

Holy shit!!! How good is this?! And you can only enter it if you’re subscribed to the magazine(which can be done at the following website My friend has always joked how I should write a story that should end like this but to start with it? Awesome just Awesome.

I’ve come up with a few ideas so far but am struggling to pick one. One was something around the world being under the control of Nazi’s in the dream and real life being a lot like that (whatever that would be like) but in secret and in an obvious way. Another was an alien control idea which I crossed out as soon as I finished writing it. Another was the dream was about being a vampire and the dreamer is a vampire but doesn’t know it. Another was that the dream was about a man committing suicide but I got a bit confused with it. You reckon any of these ideas are any good?

Any comments or suggestions are most welcome.

One answer and more questions

My good friend and fellow aspiring author told me straight that she didn’t think I needed to improve on my story The End Solution and that it stands alone very well. I think I’ll take that advice for now and take a look at it in a few months time. Maybe I’ll have a concrete idea of what to do with it next after father time goes nuts.

As for what I’m doing right now, that would be editing Town of the Mountain. Now this process has allowed me to flesh out some of the characters back story and some of their front story (see what I did there). I’m currently working on Eriden, the only female of the five hunters, and her budding relationship with Clifton who used to go out with Markus’s current girlfriend Darling Bloomflower. This is giving me a bit of headache as I don’t know how much detail I should use. What do you think? Less is more or less is crap? (if that all sounded confusing READ THE STORY)

I’m also looking forward to turning one of the hunters against the rest of them. Not in a ‘he/she joins the bad guys way’ but in that eventually they will all think of him as a great hunter but as a complete arse hole when he’s not hunting and completely untrustworthy. How I get to that point should be interesting as I’m making it up as I go along.

That’s it for now and as always your comments are very welcome.

Ideas and musings

Following on from my last post, You want another chapter?!, I’ve been running over some ideas as to how I can take my short story, The End Solution(click here to see, go on….) further. Comments are always welcome.

Our hero is just about coming to terms with his new lot in life. As a man who knows who is going to commit a serious crime by just smelling them he could use this to his own ends. Why don’t you rob this bank and I will ensure you get away with your crime? He is stupidly strong as well so this would be easy for him. He could do this a few times and disappear for good. He needs to feed on the chemical to keep himself alive (which he discovers later on) and could easily feed on the people after they’ve robbed the bank for him.

Our hero discovers, after becoming very sick and desperate, that he needs to feed on the chemical to keep himself alive. I could explain how he goes about this and how it makes him feel.

Our hero goes back to his family who then become fugitives themselves for housing him. The mother sides with him and the father tries to turn him in. In effect he breaks his family apart and ultimately escapes again anyway.

Our hero becomes the countries hero. He goes around sucking the chemical out of those who need it and becomes a household name. He embraces the government and so on.

This is what I have so far. Let me know your thoughts.

You want another chapter?!

So, like I said in my last post (Oh what to add in and what not to add in) I uploaded a short story to to see if I could get some feedback on it. Sure enough, one person gave the story 4.50 out of 5 rating which was awesome. But this one person also did something which got my head buzzing as well; they put a page marker on my story. This means that there awaiting the next chapter.

What next smeggin chapter?! It was only supposed to be a short story! Panic ensues as I throw things in the air and roll around on the floor. I could do with hoovering up this place?

However, out of this worry came more ideas. I’m currently in the planning stage of the next chapter of this story. It is a vampire-esque fable and I’d like to expand on that aspect first before the political side of the story. Maybe I should show how our hero and/or villain feeds with his new found powers?

As always, if you could have a read and give me your thoughts it would be most appreciated. The link is on my last post.